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Last updated on October 4th, 2023 at 12:43 am
If you have a strong-willed child, your first thought is probably nowhere near the idea that he or she is a blessing.
When someone first suggested to me that our strong-willed child was a blessing, I burst into laughter. Thatโs some disguise my โblessingโ is in! But it got me to thinkingโฆ maybe there is more to this kid of ours than his cast-iron will.
As I peeled back the disguise, I found these blessings:
1. They dish out humble pie.
While all children have their moments, usually only one or two take strong-willed to new levels.
Our first two children were basically cake. We didnโt realize it, though, until number three came along. If we had stopped after our first two, we would be convinced we were the best parents in the world.
Thereโs nothing like a strong-willed child to shove humble pie down the throat of the most prideful of us.
Yes, itโs painful and tastes plain awful. But itโs changed me. Not for one second am I going to judge that parent whoโs child is sprawled in the middle of the aisle screaming for the whole store to hear. That was me last week. I can now humbly offer a sympathetic smile and thank God above that I managed to get to the store alone today.
Humility lends to better parenting. A humbled parent is quicker to give grace, willing to seek understanding, and more apt to be patient. A humble parent is better equipped to raise a strong-willed child.
2. Your strong-willed child feels fiercely.
The other day my son tripped and face planted in the dirt. While I dealt with his scrapes and bruises, his little brother – the strong-willed one – came up to me with tears in his eyes.
โWhatโs wrong, bud?โ
Between sniffles, he replied, โI canโt stop the tears from coming out because my brother fell.โ
Itโs in these moments that I completely forget how hard itโs been to raise him. He feels all the feels at levels I can barely comprehend. Heโs the most passionate person I know. This is why he tends to throw a good tantrum, but itโs also why I know heโs going to make an amazing husband someday. Itโs why he makes everyone feel like they’re his friend, and why he canโt wait to hug his pets first thing in the morning.
Feeling so fiercely is hard to navigate as a child, which is one of the reasons why being strong-willed gets a bad rap. But if we as parents are intentional about helping our child face and deal with his emotions in a way that doesnโt shame him for feeling, weโll be raising up a child full of compassion and love. Couldnโt we use a few more of those in the world?
3. They do not easily conform.
Itโs amazing how all the things that worked with my older two did absolutely nothing for Mr. Strong-Willed.
We were sure we had parenting figured out, but he broke all the rules. He defied all the logic. He stood his ground against all the best parenting advice.
We had to throw out the book and start on the trial and error path. We had to learn the hard way that there are battles you fight and battles you donโt engage in at all. Weโve also learned in some unpleasant ways that once we do engage in a battle, we have to win. If our child wins, we both lose.
How is this a blessing? In just a few years from now, our little firecracker will be immersed in peer pressure and difficult choices. That strong will isnโt going to give in to what it doesnโt want to give in to. And if we do this parenting thing the best we can, heโll fight the right battles for the right things. And what is right will win.
4. They have the potential to change the world.
Have you ever seen a successful businessperson or a driven entrepreneur or a leader of a country who didnโt feel all that passionate about what he/she does? If they had been too busy trying to be everything everyone else wanted them to be, would they have been successful?
Strong-willed children have the potential to be amazing leaders. From standing up against bullies in school to standing up for underdogs around the world, there is no limit to what a strong-willed child can do to transform the world. We as parents have the incredible responsibility of raising these world-changers.
Maybe theyโre a blessing in disguise right now, but they are a blessing. If we take the time to raise them well, our strong-willed children will turn out to be blessings to the rest of the world, too.
Also read:
The Truth About Your Sensitive Child
Teach Kids to Practice Kindness (30 Ideas + a Free Printable)
Fun Mindfulness Activities for Kids: 6 Free PDF Printables
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Photo credit: Daiga Ellaby on Unsplash
Adelina V Priddis
Thank you for helping me see my strong-willed child in a completely new light. We’ve really been struggling lately, and I knew I needed to do something different. Just changing my attitude after this I think will go a long way for us both.
But seriously – what’s with 3rd children being the strong-willed ones?
Teresa
Thanks so much for your comment. These kids really do turn out just fine! And they can and do become great future leaders, great friends, and such good and caring people with a passion for what they believe in. I’ve seen it, so please hang in there.